Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I can't believe it's not butta, baby...

The homeruns, as plentiful as the inappropriate homosexual advances last week, rained down like very gay men along side the asbestos in this, our last regular season game.
Leading the team in the barrage was...yes, back from being very European...I can't believe it's not Fass:

Nice job Fabio. Now clean up that wetspot over there with your shirt...no, no the other shirt too...that's it.

And now for something not as completely disturbing nor European. Paul "I'll never stay at 1st base as long as I live" Culligan, complemented with as many (or more...I wasn't paying attention) homeruns in support of his own ruthless pitching effort (pictured below).

Perhaps understated but more significant were the excellent contributions of the ladies in both setting the table (not in the 'they belong in the kitchen...make me a turkey pot pie woman!' way but rather the 'getting on base so they can score' ~if you know what I'm talkin' about...oh yeah...giggity giggity~kind of way) as well as sensational defensive displays in the field (artist's renderings below).

Most crucial to the evening's success was the traditional post-victory/loss boozing accentuated by the multiple rounds of flip cup played on the beautifully hand crafted, yet portable table.

The End

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Watch out for the water hazard...

It's been a long time since the debut of the blog as well as any active attempts at maintaining it. I blame severe laziness and apathy. I also ironically blame it on the intense focus and training regimen to which I've subjected myself in order to dominate this sport. This is my instructor...he's nice until the whiskey takes over-those are the bad days.

So as the season has progressed, we've had our first victory! Hallelujah!

We're currently on a 3 game win streak as well (OK-so one of them was a forfeit) and essentially have announced our presence on the DC scene as a veritable kickball juggernaut. One cannot stop us, but merely hope to contain our feet of fury.
It hardly seems possible, but this Tuesday is our last game of the regular season. On we march to the playoffs! Before looking forward, it's perhaps appropriate that we take a moment for reflection on what we've learned & experienced thus far:

Whether we take kickball that seriously or not has no bearing on the outcome of the game.
Rules change constantly, just face it. (This is a picture of my favorite ref)

It's proper to celebrate a kickball victory with $2.00 Yuengling
It's proper to commiserate a kickball loss with $2.00 Yuengling
It is wholly acceptable to tater someone with a kickball, ultimately causing them to either crash back first into a metal scorer's table, tumble into the water hazard or fly across the gym floor-legs and arms akimbo.
It is also wholly acceptable (at least by the precedent we've set so far) to laugh uncontrollably at the result, regardless of injury.
The water hazard smells funny (not really 'ha ha' funny either)
People who fall into the water hazard subsequently smell funny

It's difficult to explain kickball related injuries the next day at the office.
It is also difficult to brag about one's kickball prowess the next day at the office.

In closing, beer and sports are good-both enjoyed separately and together.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

There's No Crying in Kickball

In it's inaugural game of the season, the expansion team "Wine 'em, Dine 'em, Kixty Nine 'em" otherwise cryptically known through out the league as "Team 10", got a lesson served up old school style...in a really old school. In a scene perhaps imagined by the love child of Norman Rockwell and Salvador Dali, the asbestos snowflakes floated down peacefully to the faded gym floor as the opponents points accumulated along with the potential for cancer. From an outsider's perspective it would've made for quite a bizarre little snow globe.

The evening didn't disappoint though, as it produced many positive highlights:

Each mistake we (and by 'we' I mean a good portion of them made by me) made, a new rule was illuminated.

Rookie sensation Katie Carr not only was responsible for both RKI (Runs Kicked In), she was involved in the most innovative maneuver to date. Instead of accepting the inevitability of being pegged by the ball while running to first, Katie chose fight instead of flight and proceeded to tear the ball away from the unsuspecting defender. If only she would have completed the legal play by drop kicking the ball away (who knew?!) it would have make SportsCenter for sure.

A discovery of an ideal watering hole. The Wonderland Ballroom (http://www.thewonderlandballroom.com/) is convenient to both the Cordozo High School and my house. The promise of $2 draughts until 11 PM is simply a beautiful thing.

In closing, sports and booze are good.

Thank you. That is all.